Posts Tagged ‘Third Klux Panthers’

Strange but true: one in thirty finds spiders “creepy”

Thursday, July 2nd, 2009

A new study conducted by The Institute of Truly-Great Science reveals one person in thirty finds large, hairy arachnids “creepy.”

“It’s as if we’re still living in the Dark Ages,” said TITS scientist Dr. Rusty Meyers, who further harangued the packed press conference against the sad, bigoted state of society.

The study tested participants response to being led into a 10′x10′ room full of Goliath bird-eating tarantulae and then locked in for a period of 48 hours, after which they participated in a short survey.

“Well, to be honest, they have too many legs and just plain look like they’re up to no good,” said an anonymous member of the Third Klux Panthers, a secretive, anti-arachnid group. “These spiders are taking our jobs, raping our women, and don’t respect the American flag” he said.

Although its numbers have not been verified, the group claims to include roughly one-thirtieth the population of the U.S.

Their official slogan is “Better Dead than Web.”

“As as scientist, I’m supposed to be impartial, but I have to editorialize,” said Meyers.  “These people are fucking sickos.”

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