Posts Tagged ‘super bowl’

Bill Belichick: Breakfast of Senators

Friday, February 15th, 2008

OK OK OK . . . . OK! So the man cheated. So what? It’s not like he did it for say 16 years. What’s that? Oh. Well, he put the surveillance equipment away for Super Bowls though right, to keep the big game honest, show his faith in the players and New England franchise at least? I mean he might be a cheat, but he’s not a total snake in the grass. What’d you say? Speak up! I’ve struck out . . .

Well, I must admit, I feel sympathy for the guy. I mean, sure he messed up, and he probably shouldn’t be allowed to coach anymore, but these last few weeks have had to of been really rough for Mr. Belichick. To start with, Senator Spector has been hounding this man like George Double-ya and the Iraqis. The most painful blow of all, is the latest Super Bowl which, if you have been on planet Xenon for the past few weeks and missed it, here is a sufficient recap of what happened:

However, I don’t think its enough. In order for Belichick to really understand where he has gone awry we need to take legal action. The Senator should plant a corpse in his meat locker, that would have to be at least 10 -15 years.Bill Belichick at the end

By the way, the other night I had a dream that Coach Belichick was stalking me through an old haunted town. He had a these large ninja stars but they were made out of wood. That smile, that smile, made me run faster and faster, through the forest . . . . run, RUN!!!!!

Canyon of Slackers

Thursday, February 7th, 2008

When the Giants win, we all lose.

It appears that returning Super Bowl champions bring with them an economy striking hit. Stock brokers poured onto the streets, hoisting Eli Manning onto their shoulders. Ticker tape showered onto the crowds. Joy spread throughout the “Canyon of Heroes Parade”, all while the NYSE plummeted.

Giants crush NYSE

Now the ticker follows a vector closely mirroring Tom Brady’s sex life. It’s alright Tom, you are a handsome guy. You have a super-model girlfriend. I for one am pulling for ya’. Get back on that horse and spur our economy to new heights.

And as for you New York City… Get back to work and don’t let it happen again.

Make every Tuesday Super Tuesday

Monday, February 4th, 2008

First the “Super Bowl” now “Super Tuesday”–when will this advertising nightmare end?

I thought it had reached its peak, back in the days of “Super Mario”, “Super Sonic”, and “Super Tetris”.  Then came the horrors of “Super-Sized Value Meals” and “Superman Returns”.

I see no reason for such unfounded optimism, let alone the taint of historical revisionism that espouses the present as the pinnacle of achievement.  I hold no illusions about what tomorrow will bring.  It will be a day like any other day.

But wait, what if it isn’t? What if everything is status quo me because I expect it to be?

Maybe I could turn my life around by making every day a “super” day.  I’m going to try it out, but there needs to be a standard to check it against.

Starting tomorrow, every Tuesday will be Super Tuesday. I’ll use the rest of the week as a control for the experiment.

Excuse me while I go play with my Super Ball.

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