Posts Tagged ‘Steve Ballmer’

New game sweeps nation off of feet and into desk jobs

Sunday, March 16th, 2008

A new software program, Outlook Sweeper, is thought to be responsible for the 20 percent increase in work hours in U.S. businesses last quarter. Software giant Microsoft released the game, a hybrid of Minesweeper and Outlook Express, late last fall.

The program allows workers to play games in their cubicles without fear of detection by superiors. “I don’t have to leave my left hand on the alt-tab keys anymore. I much more relaxed now,” said one anonymous employee of a local energy company.

Outlook Sweeper, Minesweeper, Outlook Express, Microsoft, Bill Gates

Software Executive Steve Ballmer said the program has been floating around the Microsoft office for a while, unbeknownst to him. Ballmer spotted a low level employee refining his schedule for hours on end. After promoting the apparent expert planner, he was surprised to learn that the man had actually been playing a game disguised as a calender.

“One day I was looking over his shoulders and discovered it was actually Minesweeper. I laughed so hard I almost pissed myself,” Ballmer told Stampworthy. “I asked him to install it on my computer. Then I fired him. We don’t tolerate that kind of behavior here at Microsoft.”

The game may be just what the struggling economy needs. Desk jockeys across the country are logging more hours, accruing more overtime pay, and spending more money than every before. Moreover, sales of Microsoft Office Suite already doubled last year’s and are expected to be reach a record high in 2008.

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