Posts Tagged ‘rent the presidency’

Practical Economic Solutions, Volume III: Rent the Presidency

Wednesday, March 18th, 2009

Welcome to the third installment of Stampworthy’s “Practical Economic Solutions,” a hard-hitting series that proffers practical solutions to today’s economic woes.

Volume III:  Rent the Presidency

Opinions are like assholes–they’re both itchy and very close to genitals.  Everyone thinks they know what’s best for the nation, and as such, the government will, for a sizable fee, allow any citizen to act as commander in chief for a day.  The legislation they pass and veto is likely to be drastic and quite absurd.  As such Congress and the Senate will spend all of their time fixing things and thus stop spending time intervening in the economy, social, and legal issues.  This is in turn will save U.S. citizen from the drastic and quite absurd actions of their government–a kind of legislative bailout.  The people will have renewed faith in the government and as such start spending and starting businesses again.

Of course their will abuses of the Presidency.  From mile-high-club parties on Air Force One to the implementation of new national holidays such as “No Pants Friday,” there will damage to America’s credibility abroad (except with France).  As such, the unemployed American masses will get new jobs as will ambassadors, PR agents, and janitors in charge of cleaning up the proverbial and literal mess created by rogue Presidents.  If there aren’t enough interested parties, we’ll implement a night with Michelle special.

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