Norfolk Virginia’s favorite prophetical non-profit is poised to launch the largest fish-related knitting project in the history of fish-related knitting. PETA is poised to clothe the entire sea population with kitten costumes in an effort to end fishing and seafood consumption.
“We’re going to get catty about fish,” says PETA president and co-founder Ingrid Newpicard, in an uncharacteristically punny press conference. “Fish need to be treated with the same reference we have for kittens right meow.” When questioned about the fate of the catfish, Newpicard chuckled and replied “What a kitty thing to ask me.” She further intimated that “Sea Kittens was a last minute decision. I for one wanted them to be called Sea Pussies.”
A spokeswoman for the Red Lobster chain issued a public reply to the campaign which applauds PETA’s “misguided enthusiam.” She further intimated the bizzare project was “a little fishy” and likely related to the members’ dietary lacuna of Omega-3.