Posts Tagged ‘nanotracker’

Obamimplant

Tuesday, November 11th, 2008

President elect Barack Obama has announced the launch of an innovative nano-tracker system that will follow the movements of Americans all over the world.  “In this historic moment we have a decision to make,” said Obama to a crowded press conference on Tuesday.  “We can rise above the partisan politics and embrace our future or we can be slaves to our private concerns,” he asserted.

The new nano-trackers, crafted in the shape of the new leader’s visage, will be injected into the bloodstream of all American citizens born after January 20, 2009.  “We want to know where you are and you want to support your new president–it’s a win-win situation,” said Obama.  The plan, endorsed by both House Democrats and Republicans, is retroactive, requiring all Americans to receive the implant on their subsequent birthday.  “This is a time of change, and we have to know who’s on board,” said Obama.

The implants, provided by Cyberdyne Systems Corporation, are programed with artificial intelligence in order to minimize interaction with vital bodily functions.  “This hybrid, mutt technology is the cutting edge of science,” said Obama.  “Only racist, religious, gun-toting nuts can reject the future.”

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