Posts Tagged ‘George Washington’

Dead Founding Father backs Obama

Sunday, October 19th, 2008

An independent, bi-partisan forensic team has determined that were the father of America, our first president, that guy on the dollar bill, George Washington, still alive, he would have supported Sen. Barrack Obama’s bid for the presidency.  “The science is still in it’s infancy,” said the head of the team, Dr. Ding L. Berri.  “We can’t tell you why he would have supported the senator, only that he would have.”

The team used a combination of modern forensic techniques as well as a new device created especially for this purpose.  “The device, nicknamed the turdy-something, compiles dietary information from extant fecal matter,” says Dr. Robert.  “It’s disgusting, but really, really fascinating.”  When questioned by Stampworthy about the origin of the sample, she commented that, “It’s a little known fact that every president contributes a jar of bodily functions to a secret underground vault for future scientific studies.”

“We’ve really advanced the field here,” said Dr. Flo Tor, another scientist on the project.  “Using these new techniques, we’ll be able to tell whether or not President Lincoln would have been in favor of a North American Union.”  She went on to make an inappropriate joke about log cabins.

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