With all of the recent bashing of the Patriots, I think we need to add some pro-Boston energy. To counter the Patriots scandal, I would like to bring to your attention Freezepop. I think they more than even the playing field.

Enjoy.

As election season heats up, Sen. McCain aides revealed a plan to revise and revive his infamous “bomb-bomb-bomb, bomb-bomb Iran” policy. A source close to McCain has leaked a few of these new policies to Stampworthy:

“Everybody’s gone green now, green U.S.A.”

“Round, round, get around, I get around without a cane, for now”

“Wouldn’t it be nice if we had a immigrant worker program, then we wouldn’t have to build a wall.”

“God only knows what I’d do without depending on the votes of conservatives who are so disgusted at the prospects of a female or African-American president that they’re forced to vote for me.”

In response, Sen. Obama has announced a new series of foreign policies based on Neil Young tunes, including “A man needs a male president,” “Out on the campaign trail,” and “When you dance I can really consider voting for you.”

Sen. Clinton is considering policies based on Chuck Barry songs including “Roll over potential democratic candidates,” “Barrack and the USSR,” and “You never can tell what my husband is going to do next.”

When the Giants win, we all lose.

It appears that returning Super Bowl champions bring with them an economy striking hit. Stock brokers poured onto the streets, hoisting Eli Manning onto their shoulders. Ticker tape showered onto the crowds. Joy spread throughout the “Canyon of Heroes Parade”, all while the NYSE plummeted.

Now the ticker follows a vector closely mirroring Tom Brady’s sex life. It’s alright Tom, you are a handsome guy. You have a super-model girlfriend. I for one am pulling for ya’. Get back on that horse and spur our economy to new heights.

And as for you New York City… Get back to work and don’t let it happen again.

This just in from the Stampworthy newsreel, Tom Brady may not have been his best in Super Bowl XLII because he is already in rigorous training and competition in a new sport! I’m sure you were wondering, as you double fisted your red-and-blue plated beerstein labeled “19 – 0 NE Best Team in History,” and your extra-large, specialty pizza with extra ketchup late Sunday evening; “what is wrong with the golden boy??!” Well, he’s already handling bigger things. Being a champion in the NFL could not contain his needful embrace for greatness any longer, there are new, uncharted territories in other arenas. One of our undercover reporters was able to infiltrate the tournament, carefully disguised in an ostrich mascot costume. However, the flash from a digital camera alerted Brady’s faithful bodyguard crew to his presence. They beat the life out of the poor Stampworthy cast member, who shall now remain nameless. One photo, however, was recovered from the crime scene: