Hammer Arrested for Hurting ‘Em

Stanley Burrell a.k.a. MC Hammer was arrested yesterday for assaulting Liam Addams, a high school senior, at a local mall in Oakland, California.  Police reports state that the boy was ‘paying homage’ to the rapper at O-Town Fashion Place’s yearly talent show when Hammer suddenly became irate, struck Addams repeatedly with his gold chain, and left the young man in a coma.

“Before he jumped on stage, Hammer proclaimed, ‘No one wears Hammer Pants but Hammer’ then finally he jumped on stage,” said witness, James S. Krise. “We tried to pull him off but he kept screaming ‘you can’t touch this.’ All I can we can do is pray for the boy to be okay.” After posting bail, Hammer stated in his press release that it was “Hammertime to stop the young man from parodying his act” and that he was “too legit to quit once it started.” He showed some remorse stating that he would “send some pumps for the bumps” to Mr. Addams.  The Addams family plans to file charges and has stated “we do what we want to do.”

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