Protesters lobby for free trade coke

Times Square was flooded with protesters today demanding free trade cocaine.  “We’re tired of the harmful trade conditions [sniffle] surrounding the coke trade,” says Martha Smith, head of the White Knights, a cocaine advocacy group.  “It’s time the government [sniffle] does something about it.”

During the protest, the White Knights collected signatures for a petition that calls on the government to create an independent group to regulate the drug trade.  “We already do it for [sniffle] our vegetables, why not for our drugs?” says Smith.  The new law would make it a federal crime to label cocaine as fair trade without undergoing proper government inspection.

“We have to walk a fine line with this,” said White House press agent Danny Smith.  “The U.S. government takes the coke trade very seriously, but we can’t just change [sniffle] old systems willy nilly.”

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