McCain Makes Health Records Public; Appears Free of Cancer, But is a Robot

Presidential hopeful Sen. John McCain has released his private health records to the public and appears to be in good health, for a robot.

“I want Americans to have faith that I can execute my duties as Commander in Chief of this great nation for centuries to come,” said McCain today in a press conference. “I know you’re all impressed with those sleek, young T-1000 models. They may speak well, but they don’t have the staying power or robotic credentials of us T-800s,” he added.


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